Monday, August 10, 2009

August 10, 2002 - The end of Angel Baby's journey

Today our little Angel Baby completed her mission in life and returned to live with her Heavenly Father.

This morning we woke up to the phone ringing at 6:15. Master Chief answered it and it was Kristi, her nurse. There was still no change. At 6:30 the phone rang again. Another nurse was calling to tell us they had one last drug to try to help Angel Baby and that we should probably get ready and come down there. So we did. We got right up and threw our clothes on from the day before so we could hurry down there. While we were dressing the phone rang again. They told us to come NOW, and asked if we wanted to do everything to save her. Of course we did. We drove as fast as we could to the hospital. Upon our arrival we were told that our sweet little angel had returned to live with her Heavenly Father.

They took us back to her bedside and they put me in a rocking chair and they placed her in my arms. The only thing I could think of was that she looked so peaceful. They took us to the family room and we got to hold her for nearly 6 hours. The hospital took lots of pictures of us and gave us a beautiful white dress, some socks and booties. They also gave us a purple memory box with everything of hers in it, like her blood pressure cuff, her stethoscope, her bath soap. She was wearing a pretty purple dress and she was beautiful.

Handing her over to the nurse to leave was so hard. So final. They offered for us to help bathe her again, and to come back to the hospital at any time to hold her again. Then they took her away, cleaned her up, took more pictures (which were horrid, I wish we had a "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep" person) and they made a lot of copies of her foot prints, even a clay moulding of them. They snipped a small piece of her hair in the back for us to keep. They did everything they could for us.

That afternoon we made our way to a mortuary. We picked a beautiful white casket that looked like a baby's bed. There were flowers, programs and arrangements like that to be decided upon.

Sunday we went to visit a cemetery with a baby land. I was so sick while I was there I wanted to throw up. I didn't know if it was because no mother should bury her baby or if it was just not the right place to lay my baby to rest. We visited another cemetery and while it was several thousands of dollars more, it was so much more of a happy feeling there. We picked the second place and even have plots for Master Chief and I to be buried with Angel Baby.

Monday I dressed Angel Baby. Both of her grandma's came to help me. We made her look so beautiful. In her white dress the sleeves kind of flared out and she truly looked like an angel with her little wings. We put a diaper on her, socks and booties. The final touch was a little white bow I had tied. I stuck it in her hair with a little honey. Then I placed her in her casket with her stuffed frog, moose and daddy's Teddy bear. Then I placed her pacifier next to her. She was surrounded by all the things she loved.

Her funeral was Tuesday. It was lovely. Both grandma's spoke along with Jared and our stake President. It was really the happiest funeral I have ever been to. It was knowing that Angel Baby is back living with her Heavenly Father, in the celestial glory she deserved. I know I will be with her again and that Master Chief and I will raise her after we are resurrected.

Angel Baby was laid to rest in a beautiful and happy cemetery on Tuesday August 13, 2002. As a tribute to her we all released pink balloons into the air after the ceremony. As the balloons were released Grandma (Master Chief's mom) said, "There she goes" and my Aunt said "Here she comes."

Angel Baby we love you so much. We can't wait for the day that we can all be back together again. We are so thankful for the blessings of the gospel and the knowledge of the plan of salvation. It really is the plan of happiness.

We have a huge blessing in our lives because of this experience. If we hadn't lost our Angel Baby we never would have adopted when we did. We now have our sweet son Kermit. He healed our broken hearts and filled our empty arms. He is such a ray of sunshine in our lives. We have a beautiful little Girl, Miss Piggy. She is such a joy in our lives and we have our newest arrival, Baby Girl. Baby Girl looks a lot like Angel Baby. She's got the dark hair, the darker skin, the same eye lashes. It's so neat to see the similarities. Our family is so happy.


Deters said...

Thanks for sharing Angel Baby's journey with us. It sure brought back feeling of when I held my little Angel when she returned to live with Heavenly Father. I am so glad that we have the knowledge that families can be together forever and that we will be able to see our baby girls again.
I think you are a great mom to the children that are in your family right now and one day Angel Baby will be there too.

Lee said...

This made me bawl. I really admire you Jami. What a heart wrenching thing to go through. Thank you for sharing with us.

Amy said...

I've been reading your blog each day to read Angel Baby's journey. What a sweet journal you have here with all of your thoughts down. And what a sweet assurance the Gospel brings, nothing I could add will really heal you like the Plan of Salvation. (hugs) to you and Master Chief.

Sonja said...

I could barely read the last couple of paragraphs through the tears. You are an amazing person and how lucky we are to have the Gospel in our lives. We have peace and comfort when we lose our precious loved ones. (((((hugs)))))

Our Story said...

Thank you for your story. What a blessing to know the truth of the gospel to get to see your Angel Baby again! Love you!

Jenni said...

I've enjoyed reading these and appreciate your sharing them. All of your kids are lucky to have you for a mom.

taffi said...


there are no words.

Love you.

Gina Sims said...

Thank you for sharing her beautiful story! It was a beautiful tribute to her. Your fatih & testimony strengthens me. I love you so very much!

Camisha Gollaher said...

I love you and your sweet family! No one should have to loose a child, but the Lord knows what we can handle, and he knows when the time is right. You are AMAZING to have endured such an experience, and you are such an example to me. Thanks for sharing your experience- I never really knew what had happened. It's so hard to loose someone, and look at all the tragedy in our family... yet we keep placing one foot in front of the other, knowing that the Lord will bless us through it all! :)

Kate said...

Thank you so much for sharing! I looked forward to each new day of what you would write. You are a strong women!!! I can't imagine dressing my dead baby! Boy am I grateful for the knowledge of eternity and families!!!!!!

hugs, hugs!

Gram-Gram said...

Thanks for reminding me of every day I was able to spend with my angel granddaughter. I really laughed about the day we gave her a bath and she pooped all over. I miss her so much but I am so thankful for the time I was able to spend with her. I will NEVER forget!!!
Jami---you're the best and I love YOU so much too.

krissi said...

Thank you for sharing this life story with all of us. You are such a strong person, I admire you greatly. I love the way you put all the little details in to give a bit more understanding to all of us.