Sunday, August 2, 2009

August 2, 2002, Day two in the life of Angel Baby

This was such an awesome day! Mama got to meet Angel Baby for the first time! Mama didn't get to meet her until 8:45pm, and Angel Baby was already almost 44 hours old.

I was wheeled through the NICU with my oxygen tank and my IV med pole. Her isolet (incubator) was towards the back of the room. She was in the middle isolet in her row. Master Chief helped me to stand up to see her. I'll never forget that feeling (I can feel it now!) of seeing her for the first time. She was beautiful, and beautiful doesn't even begin to describe her! The feeling of an over abundance of love pouring out of me. A mothers love. A love I'd never experienced. It was so strong, stronger than anything I've ever felt. My heart was so full. This was my little girl! She had big hands and big feet! Her hair.... oh was it beautiful. Her skin was the perfect color, like velvet. Her tiny lips, so tender. Her nose was so tiny! Her eyes and ears were covered due to the biliruben lights, but I was sure she was just as beautiful with the coverings as she'd be without.

And then I sang to her. While pregnant with her I made up my own words to the primary song I Often Go Walking.

Dear (Angel Baby) I love you, my dear sweetheart (Angel Baby).
And I can't wait to hold you, in my arms so dear.
I can't wait to hold you, to hug you, to love you.
Dear (Angel Baby) I love you, love your Mommy dear.

I of course cried the whole way through the song. I put my hand inside her isolet and touched her velvet skin. She had several wires and tubes connected to her for her ventilator, her temperature, her blood oxygen levels, her blood pressure and all the blood lines in her umbilical chord stump. These didn't matter though, she was so pretty.

I couldn't stay long, but she gave me hope. She gave me the strength I needed to go on. I was so excited... she was MY little girl!

1 comment:

Sonja said...

((((hugs)))) This is a sweet memory, just thinking about you singing that song made my eyes water.